


i couldn't want you anyway.

by nobodysdarlin



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Anger, Bitter, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Makeup, Makeup Sex, Pre-Relationship, Sloppy Makeouts, chibs is a dick, fuck you this is canon, i can't do slash, immature
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-07
Updated: 2017-12-07
Packaged: 2019-02-09 15:12:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12890598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nobodysdarlin/pseuds/nobodysdarlin
Summary: ooooooh, these two. takes place after "playing chicken."





	i couldn't want you anyway.

Chibs couldn't concentrate. For the last ten minutes, he'd been mindlessly twisting a greased bolt in his hands. He only stopped when Tig came out of the office looking for his keys, waving a soft "Heya, brother" in the other mans direction.

He couldn't stop thinking about Juice. It had been a tumultuous half year between them, and Chibs had never felt such time wasted. He'd carried a torch for Fiona foolishly, but this struggle between him and Juice was about to take the prize for the most worthless effort. 

He leaned back against the metal workbench that ran the length of the garage, replaying the night before that had made something in him wake up and really realize that he, for once, was no longer in charge. Losing the upper hand did not happen in one fell swoop, however, it was a combination of events that had aligned so seamlessly it was like God himself was orchestrating it. Maybe it was years of Catholic guilt, and the creator had finally come to collect.

Wallowing never sat well with the Scot. He didn't hide when his face had been mauled, he simply carried on. So why couldn't he get over something as- according to his actions- meaningless as Juice? When he had made the plan to go over drunk, fuck him sloppily, and act like they could carry on as shattered friends with benefits, he never imagined that Juice would have rejected him in the manner in which he did. Chibs woke up the next day with a hangover from hell and an uncertainty that left him feeling like his belly was full of ice water- something he felt constantly and couldn't warm, keeping him rigid and aware no matter how many shots of Jameson he took to kill the bad memory.

Chibs jerked his head hard, trying to move the memory to the back of his brain. He had a new, fresh one searing in the front of it anyway. Last night the clubhouse had been swarmed more than usual for a Tuesday night. Jax had more than a few hens to entertain, and Chibs had stayed late after work to play pool, hoping for a chance that maybe Juice would come up and and ask if they were going to watch the Walking Dead. That would leave out the messy apology that Juice feels he's owed, and they could fall back into the rhythm that they'd gotten off track of. He'd done the same thing for weeks, waiting for Juice to come begging like a puppy for attention, a silent apology, and they'd be just fine.

But this Tuesday was different.

Juice didn't come through the clubhouse until almost 11, and he wasn't alone. He was trailing along a younger girl Chibs hadn't seen before. She looked like a young thing, maybe early 20's, with a megawatt smile and thick light brown hair she kept playfully flicking off her shoulders to better see Juice. Her arms kept finding their way to Juice's shoulders, wrapping themselves around him, squeezing his sides, looping his belt loops, dancing along his neck.

Chibs throat tightened in jealousy as he watched the two of them move throughout the room for the next hour. He had been holding the same beer all night, gripping it tightly in anger to still him from saying anything, making the beer hot and sour smelling, but paling in comparison to the bile building in Chibs' stomach.

A familiar sound pulled Chibs back to the present. The sound of Juice's bike, followed by heavy, booted footsteps walking to the clubhouse. Chibs dropped the greasy bolt on the table, wiped his hands on his coveralls and headed through the side door that led to the club kitchen, hoping to catch Juice before he barricaded himself in his dorm.

Juice was nowhere to be found, so Chibs lightly knocked on his door. Juice simply answered "It's open" and Chibs let himself in.

Juice was sitting at his computer, still taking off his boots, when he looked up, surprised.

"Oh! Didn't know you were here." He said, not hiding the coolness behind his voice.

Chibs shifted uncomfortably in his boots, not sure if he should come any further into the room. He looked around at the immaculate dorm, which looked a little more lived in than normal. Juice had been spending less time at home since they'd fallen out. The last time Chibs had been over, drunk of course, Juice had made it pretty clear that he was no longer welcome. That had been almost 3 weeks ago, and Juice had been staying at the dorms since. Not that Chibs had noticed.

Staying at the dorms meant that Chibs couldn't drop in unexpectedly without drawing attention to them. It was a subtle power move that hadn't gone unnoticed.

Juice leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms in front of him, narrowing his eyes at the old man. He looked good, as usual, but Juice wasn't even angry at him anymore. He was over it, or as much as he could force himself to be.

They stood there for awhile, Chibs finally sitting on the side table near the bed, leaning himself forward, propping himself up with his elbows resting on his knees. He folded his hands somberly in front of him, sub-consciously in prayer position. He kept his eyes pinned to the floor, counting the wiry threads in the ugly pale peach carpeting.

Chibs knew he needed to make the grand gesture. This wasn't something that could be fucked back to normal. 

Finally he looked up at Juice, marveling at the stone face in front of him. 

"I miss ya, Juicey." he said, so quietly that it could have been mistaken as half-heartedly, even though it was anything but that.

"Man, you can't even look me in the eye and say that. And I don't care anymore Chibs. I don't. I did." He looked at the ceiling as the words came out, less shaky than he thought they would have. He's rehearsed it so many times, waiting for this moment.

Chibs swallowed. That was well deserved. He couldn't form an argument against it. He shrugged. Juice mirrored the shrug, simply saying "Love ya, brother." They would remain Sons of course, and that bond couldn't be compromised no matter what personal bullshit got raked through them.

"I love you, brother." Chibs said, standing up now, looking him dead-on. "Do you understand tha'?"

Juice got up to open the door, but Chibs stopped him. He put his hand out, hand landing hard on Juice's chest. Juice bristled, pushing back with both hands now, shoving Chibs harder than he'd imagined. 

"No man. No. That's it. I do understand. ."

Juice eased, his face less tense, the anger obviously startling him and leaving him as quickly as he found it. He relaxed his stance as Chibs caught his anger, skin searing hot like a flash in the pan, steeling his fist as he swung it forward, impacting with Juice's ribs and causing him to reel to one side in discomfort.

"You don't know," Chibs began as he continued moving towards him, shoving him backwards into his desk, "You don' know a goddamned thing."

And suddenly Chibs' mouth was soft and warm, dulling the throb in Juice's side, covering his own mouth, breathing his entire face in and out of his lungs. It took Juice a few breaths to kiss back, but when he did the two of them caught fire, clothes peeling off, smoke rising between the two of them, the air thinning out.

Chibs had one hand snaked around Juice's back, gripping the top of his jeans, pulling all of the smaller man's body weight up by his waistband and sitting him atop the desk. Between the scrambling and movement, Chibs' mouth never left Juices, only briefly parting to get Juice's shirt over his head. Chibs' hands found their usual placement at Juice's side, thumbs running along the ridges of his ribs. Juice winced, causing Chibs to pull back, finally looking him over.

There was a small patch of pink skin where Chibs had punched him, small pin pricks of blood breaking the surface where he would surely bruise. Chibs thumbed over the spot gently, dropping to his knees to kiss the spot. Juice leaned back against the wall as Chibs continued to mouth over his abdomen, humming slightly with each press of his mouth to the warm skin. Juice's eyes were pinned intently on Chibs, watching him as he continued to marvel at his stomach, hands moving all over him as if he were trying to read invisible braille. His forehead was tense, brows pushed together as if there was something behind them that Chibs was trying to push out.

As Chibs continued to exorcise his wordless apology over Juice's abs, Juice reached down and undid his jeans, slipping them off, hitching his hips to get them over his ass. He didn't even bother with his boots. His cock bobbed off his stomach, released from his boxers and finding its way immediately into his own hand. He pulled it slowly, fingers rolling over the head, the contact harsh on his hyper-sensitive skin. Chibs unbuttoned his own pants as Juice anticipated the cautious stretch followed by a rough flip over, which never came.

Instead, Chibs spit into his hand, locking eyes with Juice as he moved his hand low between them, finding his ass and slowly beginning the stretch. He pressed hard and slow, searching for the wordless cue to go ahead from Juice. The boy blew his cheeks out as he rolled his head back on his shoulders, exhaling in anticipation. Chibs entered him on the exhale, almost cumming instantly from the lack of stimulation for the last 3 weeks. He sunk in full-hilt, his thighs pressed hard against the back of Juice's quads. Juice had his legs bent up and over to one side, his jeans straight-jacketing his legs tightly, the pressure making it nearly impossible for Chibs to hold his load.

The never fucked face to face, and Chibs wasn't sure where to look, what to do, where to put his hands. He was over stimulated at the sight in front of him alone, let alone from the friction between them as Juice slowly tightened and released around him, palming his own cock as he looked up at Chibs with black eyes. He managed to rock up into the man, the fire in his gut brimming as he watched himself sink hard into Juice, the force causing him to buck up into his own hand, the chain of motion turning Chibs on even more.

"Gon' be quick Juicey, Jesus.." Chibs trailed, feeling himself releasing instantly into Juice, watching Juice follow suit, spilling ropes on the both of them, their gasps fighting each other in the small room.

They broke apart, both leaning into the wall as they caught their breath. Juice smiled dopely, looking up at the still-red old man, who was grinning back at him with raised eyebrows as he raked the hair out of his face.

"I love you, Juice. Do you understand?"

"Yeah," he responded, closing his eyes and smiling, staring up towards the ceiling. "I understand."

And that was the end of the fight, or the story of the first I love you, depending on who you asked.

**Author's Note:**

> my faults were full and plenty  
> and yours tore me up  
> so it's no wonder I'm thinking really  
> you're better off.


End file.
